Evan's Escape?
by Rio's Desire
Summary: Evan Bashing Story! Some of the X-Men have been captured and sent to a mutant experiment facility, and it is up to the others to save them, but what about Evan?
1. Dirty!

This story is mostly about Evan and bashing him. Some of the X-Men have been captured and sent to a mutant experiment facility, and it is up to the others to save them, but what about Evan?

* * *

When Kitty woke up, she wasn't alone in her cell. There were three other mutants in there with her. Two were Rogue and Remy, they were making out. They were all over each other. Kitty slowly got up, and looked over at the unconscious guy. Then the 'couple' stopped making out and looked at her. 

"She's awake." The Rogue said to Remy who was on top of her. "Y'ah alright sugah?" she said to Kitty with a heavy southern accent.

"I guess so." Kitty replied with a crack in her voice. She was very thirsty, her throat was so dry.

"Bonjour chere. Remy wasn't sure you were eva goin ta wake up."

"We wah bored." Rogue laughed pushing Remy off of her, both of them sitting up.

" Who's that, is that Scott?" Kitty said pointing to the unconscious guy on the floor.

" Yah its Scott. Ah guess he got captured too. Jean will be back for him if not us." Before Kitty could what happened, she was interrupted by a dark skinned boy with blonde hair yelling and screaming in a different cell across from theirs. Next to him, an enormous mutant who was complaining about some smell.

"ROGUE! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOOOOU!!!! IT'S GAMBIT FROM THE ACOLYTES!!!!RUN!!!" the blonde kid said.

"Evan yah idiot! Ah know that! We're...friends.

"So? He's a bad guy! A meanie!" Evan wailed.

"Evan, what smells SO bad?!" the bigger mutant in Evan's cell asked him, interrupting him from talking to Rogue.

"Oh sorry Fred, I didn't have a shower after I ate. Ya know how it is, eating a delicious diaper of poop and then smearing it all over yourself, enjoying it so much, in all its warmth, and tantalizing aroma, you just CAN'T take a shower after!" Evan squealed joyfully. He then smiled, revealing shit brown stained teeth. Fred quivered after Evan shared that unwanted piece of information.

"EEWWW!!! Evan, stay away from me...you're...you're...DIRTY!" Fred cried holding his nose, and also pleased his slow mind came up with something to say. Evan fell on his ass and curled up into a little butterball and cried insanely.

Kitty, Rogue, Remy, and obviously Fred were all quite disturbed after that. Kitty turned to Rogue and said "Ew! Like he is so totally disgusting." Rogue laughed and said "Everyone hates Evan, we only put up with that twisted little sicko because he just happens to be Ororo's nephew. Kitty hoped they could get out of here as soon as possible.

Back at the X-mansion...

"Professer! Vhat vill ve do?! Vat about Keety?!" a furry blue Kurt yelled.

"Calm down Kurt. Let's be reasonable on this. We need a plan to get them out. We can't just go back there and get them out." Professor Xavier replied.

"Scott is trapped in there! We can't leave them all for long! What if something bad happens to them?!" an upset and worried Jean cried.

"Do not worry, Jean we will get them back." Storm said trying to comfort Jean.

"We'll go back tomorrow and get them Charles. I've got a plan." growled Logan.

"Well, please do share this plan." Xavier nodded.

The next day...

Kitty woke up to see that Scott had wakened up. "Hey. You're up." Kitty said, not really knowing what to say.

"Unfortunately. I can't believe that I, the leader of the X-Men, allowed myself to be caught. I was careless." an unhappy Scott replied.

"Well it's not your fault they have collars that can control your powers." Kitty said looking at the visor in his hands. "Wow, your eyes are so blue!" she mused, then looking over at the sleeping Rogue and Remy, together in a tangle of legs and arms.

Just then, some more of Trask's men came over to their cell in their black suits.

"Oh great." Kitty said frowning.

"I want you to bring mutant 436 to the lab again." Trask said.

"TRASK! I knew it was you! You are going to pay for this!" Scott raged as Kitty was taken out of the cell. Scott tried to help Kitty from being taken away, but was forced to back off when electric cattle prods were taken out.

"Is this what you have come to Trask? You are scared of us? Why not fight man to man?" Scott fumed.

"I am simply evening out the odds against me and humankind." Trask replied with an evil smile.

* * *

I hope you like the next chapter, I laughed so hard while proof reading it! 


	2. Clean?

"What is goin on? AAEECCAAAHHH!" Evan screeched as three of Trask's men dragged him out of the electric cell. "THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!" Fred screamed of happiness.

"I was beginning to think I'd lost my sense of smell." Fred hoped they wouldn't bring him back.

He never liked the kid anyway, he was too gross.

"Fuck! This mutant smells like shit!" one man complained. "I know, I had to guard this hallway the other night, and the whole damn section smelled!" complained another guy.

"Why thank you, you really are true gentlemen." Evan beamed. The other man hit him over the head and yelled "Shut up you sick little bastard." Evan started to cry.

They took Evan over to what looked like a cell. They threw him in there happy to not have to smell the shit on his now rotting teeth. "What is this place?" Evan squealed gaily to himself, having stopped crying. Evan joyfully noticed that it echoed in the large white room, and decided to sing to himself.

"Girls just wanna have bun!

Some boys take a beautiful poopie diaper

And hide it away from the rest of the world

I wanna be the one to eat it in the slum

I'll eat it infront of everyone

Cuz girls they wanna have bun

Thats all they really want is some of my bun!"

"Oh! That was sure fun." Evan giggled. But there was no one in the room.

"Haha I rhymed again without meaning to!" Evan was feeling really proud of himself. Evan started to gaily prance around like he had a stick shoved up his butt. He tired himself out after a minute or so, and fell on his ass and rolled into a little dirty ball.

Trask was watching him and thought that this was an unusual display of weirdness for any mutant.

"Activate white-room procedures." Trask ordered.

Evan sat in the white room still singing his odd version of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' unaware of what was going to happen to him. Then, what looked like silver wall-mounted guns came out of the walls, directed at Evan. "EEACCHH!!!! What's goin on?!" Evan panicked, eyes wide. The silver gun-looking things made a small noise, Evan prepared for his doom and then they all pointed at him and...

SSSSSSSSHHHHHH!!

Water poured down on him. They were only showers, he was spared. But his stench wasn't. Nevertheless, Evan still screamed. "Noooooo!! I worked so hard so get this smell to seep into my skin!! I AM RUINED!"

* * *

Poor Evan...clean Evan? Stupid Evan. 


End file.
